If the holidays leave you more stressed than soothed, you're far from alone. Between the endless to-do lists, social obligations, gift shopping, decorating, cooking, and managing work or family expectations, this “most wonderful time of the year” can easily spiral into a pressure cooker.
I used to love the holidays in theory—but dread them in practice. Everything felt like a race: the race to finish things, to keep everyone happy, to make it all look joyful… even when I was hanging by a thread. Sound familiar?
Eventually, I realized something had to shift—not in my calendar, but in my mindset. That’s when I started experimenting with mental habits that could actually soothe the chaos, not just cover it up. If you’ve ever wanted to enjoy the season without the overwhelm, this one’s for you.
Let’s walk through the habits that helped me feel less frantic—and more festive.
1. Embrace the Beauty of Imperfection
We often go into the holidays with big visions: perfectly lit homes, dazzling outfits, gourmet meals, and smooth family gatherings. But guess what? Real life rarely follows the Pinterest version—and that’s okay.
1. Let Go of the Highlight Reel
Trying to make everything just right only magnifies the pressure. I used to obsess over every detail—from wrinkled napkins to crooked tree ornaments. And it never ended well. The year I finally let go and let things be a little messy, I had way more fun (and fewer breakdowns).
2. Normalize Mistakes and Mishaps
Burnt cookies? Missed photo opps? Kids arguing over board games? These aren’t failures—they’re real-life moments. The holidays aren’t about perfection; they’re about presence. The more I leaned into that, the lighter everything felt.
3. Laugh Through the Flaws
Now, when something goes off-script, I try to laugh instead of panic. It’s amazing how a small mindset shift—seeing imperfection as part of the charm—can dissolve stress instantly.
2. Recenter Around What Actually Matters
The pressure to do it all often makes us forget why we’re doing it. Before we know it, the meaning gets buried under tasks.
1. Name Your Holiday “Why”
Is it family time? Spiritual reflection? Rest? Joyful traditions? Write it down. Seriously. I make a short list each year of what really matters to me, and it helps guide my decisions (and nix the fluff).
2. Say No to the Extras
If an event, task, or gift doesn’t align with your holiday “why,” it’s okay to skip it. I’ve passed on things that used to feel mandatory, and surprise—I didn’t miss them.
3. Do Less, Enjoy More
Scaling back helped me savor what I did choose. A slower pace revealed moments I would’ve otherwise rushed past: a quiet coffee with my mom, a snowy walk alone, a laugh with my niece. Quality over quantity, every time.
3. Learn to Set (and Stick to) Boundaries
Saying yes to everything is a fast track to holiday burnout. But saying no? That’s a gift you can give yourself.
1. Ditch the Guilt Around “No”
I used to feel terrible turning things down—until I realized each “yes” was a “no” to myself. Whether it’s declining a fourth cookie swap or postponing a trip, you don’t owe anyone your exhaustion.
2. Create a Simple Boundary Script
I started using go-to phrases like, “I’m stretched thin this year, so I’m keeping things simple,” or “That sounds lovely, but I need to protect some quiet time.” Boundaries can be respectful and kind.
3. Guard Your Energy Like a Gift
Whether it’s blocking out downtime or protecting your evenings, treat your peace like it matters. Because it does. Your energy fuels everything else.
4. Add Presence to Your Holiday Playlist
You don’t need to meditate in a quiet cabin to practice mindfulness. In fact, I found the most powerful changes came from tiny shifts in how I paid attention.
1. Anchor Into Small Moments
I now have a habit of “dropping in” when something good is happening—like lighting a candle, hearing laughter, or sitting at a holiday table. I pause, breathe, and absorb it. That one breath? It changes everything.
2. Gratitude as a Reset Button
Each night, I jot down three things I’m thankful for. During the holidays, this habit grounds me. No matter how hectic the day was, I end on a note of appreciation.
3. Don’t Multitask the Joy Away
It’s tempting to scroll, stir soup, and gift-wrap all at once—but it’s also exhausting. Try single-tasking when it matters: watching a movie with family, baking with your kids, or sipping cocoa solo. Just be there.
5. Put Rest on Your Priority List
Rest isn’t optional during the holidays—it’s essential. The irony is we need more energy to handle the season, not less.
1. Schedule Recovery Time Like Events
I actually put “do nothing” on my calendar now. One night a week during December is sacred for rest: PJs, no plans, phone off. It’s amazing how much better I function afterward.
2. Protect Your Sleep Like a Non-Negotiable
Late-night wrapping sessions used to wreck my mood and my health. Now I aim for consistency in sleep, even if the to-do list isn't done. Trust me—it’ll all wait, but your body won’t.
3. Rest = Joy Reboot
After enough sleep and rest, I’m more patient, funnier, and (shockingly) even enjoy the chaos more. Rest is the reset that unlocks joy.
6. Shift the Focus from Perfect Plans to Real Connection
The most magical holiday moments often aren’t planned—they happen when you give space for connection to unfold.
1. Leave Room for Spontaneity
We started a new tradition of unscheduled “hangout nights.” No pressure, no agenda—just music, food, and whoever wants to come. They’re now my favorite memories.
2. Let Everyone Bring Something (Including Themselves)
Instead of hosting everything solo, I ask family or friends to bring a dish, a game, a story—something to share. It creates a relaxed vibe and removes pressure from any one person.
3. Talk More, Scroll Less
I now stash my phone during dinners or game nights. That small habit has sparked more belly laughs, deeper convos, and fewer distractions. The connections feel real—and remembered.
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Your Plus Points!
In keeping with the hope that small changes can lead to big transformations, here are five Plus Points to help you find peace amidst the holiday frenzy:
- Embrace the mess: Relinquish the need for perfection and delight in the quirks of the holiday season.
- Select priorities: Write down the top three things that truly matter, and let them guide your holiday plans.
- Craft your "No": Replace guilt with empowerment by setting boundaries with grace.
- Breathe in the moment: Dedicate a few minutes to savor the present, even amidst the hustle and bustle.
- Schedule downtime: Add moments of rest as an essential, non-negotiable part of your holiday calendar.
Unwrap the Calm: Your Real Holiday Reset
The holidays aren’t about juggling more—they’re about connecting deeper, resting easier, and living truer. The calm doesn’t come from doing it all; it comes from doing what matters most on your terms.
So go ahead—light the candles, burn the cookies, cancel that one event, take that nap, and choose joy over perfection. That’s the real magic of the season.
